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May 10, 2005

Not Having Fun

I just finished working on a piece of a proposal that can make me a star, but I'm starting to feel like Dean Martin in the original Ocean's Eleven. Maybe I'm a little bit too old for this.

My sales shark called me this morning and reminded me that Utah is a great place for mountain biking. And so it hit me like a ton of copper ore that I'm not really having fun on this trip and I'm not going to. The locus of my discontent which has overcome my otherwise sunny disposition is a particularly gimpy data pump created by Vignette that the mother company has decided to OEM. Why? Because you don't have to write code! Which means it's a perfectly idiotic tool for those of us who do write code.

So I have come to discover that this gnarled piece of caca between an AS/400 and a SQL Server doesn't pay much attention to SQL code if you don't also draw the little field connector lines in it's idiot proof visual drag and drop fecal-torium. Instead of something simple like just writing a spool phrase as one would in Oracle's SQL dialect, this crap collector makes you grab a little text object from a toolbar. Try to imagine a DTS connection object with about 50 properties. IT'S A FLAT FILE FOR CHRISSAKE! I connect this monstrosity to my query object but not before I have to manually click the 'add field' button as many times as my query is bringing over columns.

Now here's the killer. Imagine you determine, an hour and 3GB later that you'd like to make your query results a little smaller. It's not enough that you remove fields from your select statement in the gawdawful query object, you also have to pretty much destroy your flat file object and recreate it from scratch. This is something it takes a veteran like me all day to figure out.

What a waste.

I take that back. What's so absolutely perfect about this product is that it allows you to generate executable code that you can drop into obscure directories on your customer's servers. Only you know what they do and only you can fix them. That's evil genius.

Posted by mbowen at May 10, 2005 10:33 PM

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Within the greater expance of time—distance between the points furthest from each other in this universe—a different, divinely inspired, meaning is gathered in observation of the actions of those elders beyond our parents’ generation, in which some form of dauntless evangelism is expressed. Particular to this writing is the carrying of signs upon which is written “The End Is Near!”

The average lifespan of homo-sapiens-sapiens is near seventy-five or eighty years. To juxtapose this measure of time upon that of the universe’s reveals a humbling diminution in the reach of its influence on the history of time. It also verifies the rejection, by those of past generations, of the futility of living if not ever in possession of the individual power to increase one’s satisfaction, health, and personal credit (not only in monetary terms). It is essential to play an active role in this economy of energy designed to protect this singular right of human-kind. Acting as opposition to this effort could be seen as represented in the spread of superstition and religious fanaticism during the current era.

If a solid majority does not understand this notion as perhaps a central compulsion or cause for such depth of conviction and devotion (both temporally and cognitively) to the teachings of Christ, and therefore the body and breath of the son of God, then the violence waged in the name of Christ will again commence advancing toward a new era of religious wars within Christianity. The devastation thereby caused will be equal to or more destructive to the reparability of civilization than the sanguine religious wars fought at the end of the renaissance and during medieval periods.

How can we prevent the proliferation of religious violence?

By instructing from the bible with an explicit interpretation of jesus’ teachings with regard to its age relative to that of the universe. This context cannot but inspire, obviate, peace-led and compassionate life. As regards the relative age of the Christian “combatants,” it must be noted that the youngest portions of the adult Christian population commit, by much, a majority of violent crimes justified within an interpretation of the teachings of Christ. A majority of these young adult populations, for the most part currently or recently engaged by, and engaging, some form of formal education. Herein lies a part of the solution: the greater the proportion of the above aggregate population available to learn with the use of reason, the more difficult it will be for the progenation of violence through generation. Who would deny an interest in a socialization illuminating a clear path to compassionate existence.

This raises another question, for which I incapable of articulating a precise answer:

How can the Holy Bible not have evolved on numerous occasions, indeed with an almost tidal frequency, and commensurate in scope and depth to the evolution of human understanding (i.e. capacity, and the availability of continuum of growing history)? If it has thus evolved, its authority as a static and absolute truth1 would be compromised and would be less hostile and more merciful. Merciful, as if singularly in pursuit of a most homogeneously compassionate (of course, without abandoning the means to resist any will to its oppression) period in the history of civilization.

1. (Absolute truth is here in reference to a truth instructed to human-kind by God, which has never, and could never be influenced to change for the purpose of accommodating and attending to, one, the plight of humanity, nor yet two, the expansion and proliferation of diversity in human languages. If absolute truth were thus impenetrable, immovable, we would therefore all be required to understand, read, and speak the languages in which the teachings of Christ were initially written.2

2. Because Christ has not spoken or breathed for nearly 2000 years, I cannot justify including “spoken” on par with “written” above. Only the time in which the voice of his living body flowed from his mortal being, and into the air of this terrestrial plane would we have had access to a comprehension of his teachings via the aural sense. In addition, verbal discourse, especially in the time of Christ, when there were no recording technologies, passing between the aural and oral planes only uses a different apparatus for the apprehension of meaning than that which is written, and on the visual plane. And, as every individual is psychologically and characteristically unique, his voice will never be heard again.

Posted by: Sean Bauer at May 13, 2005 05:28 AM