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September 12, 2004

Like Nine Cans of Shaving Powder

Keywords: Greatest Funk of All Time

Last week, NPR interviewed Xeni about her iPod. Now that's news. Xeni is one of the oxygen suckers on the LA scene. I'd have to be a transvestite sky-diver with a pierced eyeball to get more attention than she, but that's almost besides the point. The end of her piece with Noah Adams proved that he had no clue whatsoever whe the Gap Band is. Now that's really sad.

But it brings to mind a number of sticky problems. The first problem is easily resolved because of a fairly large number of P2P networks out there. The problem is that I only have 4 Gap Band tracks in my collection (Outstanding, Yearning for Your Love, Early in the Morning & Burn Rubber). The second problem is more tricky, which is to decide who occupies Grand Funker Number Two.

You can't get anywhere without saying that George Clinton is the undisputed center of the funk universe. But who is number two is a damned hard decision. Some people would say Bootsy, but I don't think so. It ain't James Brown either - he's soul. Now it's true that JB musically invented funk, but he came nowhere close to taking it to its limits, some of which are still being explored. So I'm just going to start the controversy here and now with some hellafied bands and songs that must be considered.

I think that if you consider the quality and number of funky ass songs that have that ineffable quality, there are four contenders for number two, and several others that are right there.

Ultimate Funk:
Ohio Players
Cameo
Roger Troutman & Zapp
Steve Arrington & Slave

There is so much that can be said about those bands that I could spend 500 words on each of them. But I won't. I just want you to get your head around the size of this task by complicating it with some more artists who must be considered.

Superstar Funk:
Bar Kays
Rick James & The Stone City Band
Bootsy's Rubber Band
Prince
Commodores
AWB
Kool & The Gang
Gap Band
Confunkshun
Tower of Power
Larry Graham & Graham Central Station
War
Brass Construction
SOS Band
Skyy
Lakeside
Brothers Johnson
Ray Parker
Chic
Frankie Beverly & Maze

In There
One Way / Brick / Chuck Brown & The Soul Searchers / Pleasure / Johnnie Guitar Watson / Chocolate Milk / BT Express / Dazz Band / Midnight Star / Fatback / Wild Cherry / Jimmy Castor / Trouble Funk / Mother's Finest / Herbie Hancock / Whodini / Breakwater / Pockets / Ozone / Faze-O / Sun / Mass Production / The Meters

For Honorable Mention, I 've got to give props to the artists who weren't really funky most of the time but dropped bombs nevertheless, espeically the class of jazz funkers who dropped the most awesome funky cuts ever made.

George Duke: Reach For It
Lenny White: Peanut Butter
Tom Brown: Funkin' For Jamaica
Michael Henderson: Wide Receiver
David Sanborn: Wake Me When It's Over

Then there's there's the late 80s electric funk on the verge of hiphop:
The Family: Suzanna's Pajamas
Herb Alpert & Janet Jackson: Diamonds
Hashim Al-Naafiyish: The Soul (It's Time)
Africa Bambaataa: Planet Rock

DQ:
Even though they can be funky, I don't count James Brown, The Isley Brothers, EWF, Stevie Wonder, The Temptations, Sly & The Family Stone, Marvin Gaye, Curtis Mayfield or Michael Jackson. I probably shouldn't count Prince either, but if I had to drop him on one bucket it would be Funk.

Have at it.

Posted by mbowen at September 12, 2004 04:22 PM

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Comments

My sister-in-law is in her mid to late 20s.

I was talking about the Gap Band. She said, "The Gap Band? Who's that?"

When my wife and I were preparing for our wedding, the same woman said, "The reception is going to be a trip. I won't be able to dance because I know he wants to play funk!"

Posted by: DarkStar at September 12, 2004 04:25 PM

Now you KNOW I'm linkin' to this!

Posted by: avery at September 12, 2004 06:51 PM

When you do, can you answer my question?

Where's the funk?

Posted by: EBrown at September 12, 2004 07:08 PM

Man, Funk Brotha #2? wshew! that's hard. honest to goodness, I don't really see how Ray Parker makes it that high up the list, but of those who took the Parliament/Funkadelic vibe and extended it, I say Troutman and Co did it best.

As much as i grooved to every SOS Band hit (and, boy, there were so MANY), the folk in the "supastar funk" category generally had a touch too much pop sensibilities in there, imho (except brothers johnson -- them bass licks...! woo!).

Posted by: memer at September 13, 2004 09:14 AM

y'know wut -- ignore that second paragraph above. on second look there's way more exceptions to that assertion.

i'll go with troutman and leave it at that.

Posted by: memer at September 13, 2004 09:15 AM

'For Those Who Like To Groove' was one of the funkiest songs ever man. And then he came back with 'Still In the Groove'. Ray Parker knew how to funk. Right now, I'm regretting that I didn't put Tom Browne higher, because Funkin' for Jamaica and Thighs High are just classic.

Tom Browne is 'deep funk'. All you have to hear is the bass line and it's over. Brick House, I think is the world champion bass line, followed very closely by Glide.

Posted by: cobb at September 13, 2004 09:32 AM

The first Slave CD had a bass line that just stomped. *AND* the lead guitar work was just mind blowing.

I remember being at a community fair where 2 groups did Slide. The first group didn't have a lead guitar who was good, so the keyboardist took the guitar solo.

The second group played it and the lead guitarist stepped to the front and kicked it.

Ray Parker, Jr./RAYDIO, knew funk. The first instrumental on the RAYDIO alblum, rocked.

I saw Roger Troutman and ZAPP about 8 months before he was killed.

He played the bass, lead, keyboards, and harmonica. They tore it up. The younguns' had no clue.

Hot Chocolate gets honorable mention.

Posted by: DarkStar@toad.net at September 13, 2004 10:47 AM

While I wouldn't stack my funk cred against yours, when you asked for #2 Ohio Players was the first in my mind. I've always felt there's a fine line between what I think of as natural, dirty funk (Parliament/Funkadelic, Ohio Players, War) and the more polished, "Hollywood" funk (Prince, Gap Band, EWF/TOP). The former has a looser feel, like everything is about two bars from blowin' apart into a riot of noise, while the latter is tighter than Morris Day's Stacey Adams' with just as much flash. Both are cool, but that first group was just made for doing the Freeky Deke.

re Gap Band tracks, how'd you miss You Dropped a Bomb on Me?

Posted by: submandave at September 13, 2004 03:52 PM

You're so right though. As I'm listening (and boy am I listening to a lot of funk these days), I see a lot of differences.

I swear that on the way to work this morning I had Slide playing full blast and it just brought tears to my eyes. After it was over all I could think of was two things. One, if the music industry wasn't so racial there would be a lot more music like this. Second, what I wouldn't pay to hear Prince, Vernon Reid or Carlos Santana do a cover of that song, which in my estimation has one of the great guitar solos of all time.

I think I would lean towards Ohio Players. Cameo was very slick and controlled. Lyrically Cameo can't really be touched and they reall had the arrangements that could keep going without losing their edge. Roger and Zapp could be really.. syruppy. I never saw him live except for a tape of one of Sinbad's Caribbean concerts. Arrington was 'Way Out' which is why he was extra cool artistically, but he wasn't laying out the really deep funk.

Now you look at the BarKays. That's just old school sweaty black man funk, complete with the falsettos and the 'yowww'. But they really never transcended.

So I'm thinking Ohio Players too, but I'm not finished listening.

Posted by: Cobb at September 13, 2004 04:11 PM

There it is.

Posted by: avery at September 14, 2004 06:59 AM

What about Art of Noise?

Posted by: Eric at September 14, 2004 08:04 AM

Art of Noise ain't funk. Yeah, it would make you shake your ass, but it at funk.

Please leave your PFunk card on the table.

Slide. That's funk.
Strawberry Letter 23. That's funk.
Play That Funky Music. That's funk. Done by a mediocre rock band but funk none the less.
Mary Jane...
Firecracker
DuzzIt.
Jungle Boogie.
MachineGun.

Ohhhhhh.....
WHERE'S THE FUNK!?!?!?!?!?


Posted by: DarkStar at September 14, 2004 05:32 PM

"Hey Man, Smell My Finger" -- That's the CD that has my H.K. speakers and subwoofer booming right now.

"Marshall Law" and "Paint The White House Black".

Crankin.

Bass. Not in your face.
Bass. In your azzz.

Posted by: DarkStar at September 15, 2004 05:36 PM

I love Martial Law, but George Clinton in that song makes the absolute worse rap ever recorded. I'd rather listen to 'Milk is chillin'.

Posted by: Cobb at September 15, 2004 08:35 PM